Iplace/I'm lonely

Hey hey hey!!! I am at kne of Malta's coolest restaurants EVER! It's called Iplace and it's AWESOME! It's super technical. The menus are Ipads and after you order, you can keep playing with the Ipad! There's free WIFI and everything! I'm having a ball! :D i decoded to use my happiness by blogging, so as not to waste the inspiration and creativity. At home I probably won't feel as excited about writing.

I don't know whay's wrong with me lately. I'm always sad and grumpy. Barely anything ispires me. Lately I only find peace in drawing. But i only draw for two hours a week and my teacher is most probably moving to Greece. That means that I'll have to find a new art teacher. :'( i've been going to this art teacher for five years. I don't want her to leave... Life's not fair. This news has made me even more depressed.

I might be sad because I'm lonely. As soon as I stopped crushing on this guy I liked for three years I started feeling lonely. I don't like this feeling. Before I used to have someone to think about, to daydream about and to be in my thoughts as I fall asleep. Lyrics used to have a meaning. And now, nothing. And to make it worse, everywhere I look I see couples holding hands, kissing or just hanging out. To torture me even more, I seem to have a natural talent for spotting cute guys, from a crowd, during mass, in a restaurant- everywhere! Love is in the air, it just doesn't reach me.
Whenever my mum sees me upset and when I tell her that I'm feeling lonely, she explodes and tells me that I don't need a boyfriend at my age-that nobody does. This enrages me. She just doesn't understand, she never has. I can openly talk to her about boys, she doesn't mind, but when the 'boyfriend' word is in the picture, she doesn't want to know.
My whole life I've read beautiful romance-packed poems and novels. Anything I ever watch in the movie/series department is full of love and deep-set emotions. (Example: Vampire Diaries, Teen Wolf, The Secret Circle etc..). If you've ever watched these, you'd know why they make me feel lonelier. My    heart aches at the thought of those scenes. I can feel my heart beating at a different pace, slightly quicker and more powerfully,. I can feel my blood pumping through my veins, from my chest, to my arms, down my wrist to the tips of my fingers. From my heart, down my stomach, to my legs, my ankles and into my toes and back. Now I feel as though life has a different meaning, as though we all have one true goal. I feel as if I was meant, was created, to love. To spread love to everyone and everything. But to do that, I first need to experience it.

Oh well, that's the end of this blog. I'm really sorry if I brought you down, thanks for letting me vent, see you..
                                                                                                    -CC